by PAULA LYNDE
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): A strong influence from Jupiter has you wanting to make the world a better place, but your first attempts are going to be a little off. This is probably because you were inspired a little too much by Aquaman in that new Justice League movie. No, you can’t take your trident into public places. Sorry. Look for smaller, less scary ways to be a hero. Read to a child. Help out at the soup kitchen. There are all kinds of ways to be the change you want to see in the world.
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20): Hey, fishy-fishy, that big thing that you’ve been wanting for a really long time is finally within reach. There’s still a lot of work to do, but the path is clear for your success. Now focus. I know that you’re a wonderfully free spirit who’s easily distracted by someone shouting, “Squirrel!” But you’ve got to keep your eye on the prize this month. Don’t worry. You’ve got this.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Good news! Your ruling planet is in a strong place. However, it is a place that calls for discretion and maybe a little subterfuge in your everyday life. In fact, now is a great time to work on your ninja skills. If you celebrate a holiday this month, and are expecting gifts, ask for throwing stars and others like you. Ninjas always do better in groups.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Venus has you wanting to play matchmaker this month. And because you’re so charming and charismatic, your friends will most likely listen to your advice. Luckily, you will also be gifted with uncharacteristic empathy around the 21st. So, you can offer your friends a shoulder to cry on when all of that matchmaking runs its natural course.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Twins looking for jobs are in luck this month because their chances for getting hired are extremely good. Your love life is also likely to improve. This is either because your ruling planet is in the House of Love or because you’ll finally be able to afford to move out of your parents’ basement. Either way, vive l’amour, Gemini!
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Oh, Cancer, you little people-pleasing wallflower, this is your month to shine. Of course, friends and co-workers may not immediately accept the bold new you. So, if anyone gives you grief about your new attitude, just smile and tell them that no one puts you in a corner. Now, go and have the time of your life.
LEO (July 23-Aug-22): Winning the support of others will be difficult during the first part of the month. So, don’t be surprised if no one participates in your Ugly Sweater Day at work. That’s okay, though. Because Mars is in your corner at the end of the month, your social standing will go through the roof. Everyone will want to borrow your light up holiday cat sweater. And you’ll have fun telling them that both your name and number are “no.”
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22): Virgo, Virgo, Virgo – You’re trying so hard to make things perfect at work and in your relationship, but people just won’t cooperate with your grand vision. Then, because your stars are a little chaotic this month, your natural response is to rebel! But, you’re a Virgo, so this probably means you’ll have a turkey sandwich on a day when you normally eat tuna. Clutch the pearls!
LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22): The stars are truly smiling on you this month, Libra. Everything is aligned for you to have a spiritual awakening, a taste of the truly magical, and evenings filled with nearly impossible delights! It sounds like someone will be getting into the mulled wine. Just, if you end up naked and in the neighbor’s pool, don’t blame the stars. Blame the fact that you forgot to eat something first, you silly set of scales.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21): The Scorpio is always passionate by nature, but, this month, you’re about to go mad-crazy with the passion. You may even buy a ruffled pirate shirt and a wind machine to make your hair look all flowy, and, well . . . passionate. Mars also has you setting sights on rivals standing in your way. Just don’t make your rivals too angry. Remember that most of them have phones. And they’ll snap pics of you in your ruffled shirt and post them to Instagram.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21): Face it, you hot-headed centaur, when people think of diplomacy, your name rarely comes up. Well, guess what? All of that will change this month, thanks to Mercury’s influence. Throughout December, you’ll be the most rational person in the room. You’ll make wise decisions, people see eye-to-eye, and probably someone’s day. Come January, though, you’re back to offending literally everyone.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19): All signs point to the fact that you will hit a wall around mid-month. If this is a figurative wall, and you feel like giving up on your goals, don’t. You Caps are a tough breed, and your second wind is just around the next corner. Work through your mental block, and keep reaching for those stars. If, of course, you hit an actual wall, get up quickly and hope no one was watching.