by PAULA LYNDE
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): The planets are flip-flopping everything around this month, and Aquarians will be right in the middle of the craziness. So, don’t be surprised if your usually laid-back self gets strangely aggressive around the fourteenth. You’ll speak your mind, start some arguments, and possibly even burn some bridges – not actual bridges, of course. You may step way out of your comfort zone, but you’re still not a Sagittarius. Anyway, you may anger a friend, family member, coworker, or spouse in the process. But it will actually be good for your relationship in the long run. When the dust settles, they’ll respect you more for showing a little moxie.
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20): You’re going to be in charge of something this month, Pisces, and you’re going to amaze everyone by how together you actually are. Too often, people mistake your happy-go-lucky nature for flakiness, but you’re about to make the haters eat their words. Of course, you won’t rub your success in anyone’s face because you’re just so darn nice. That’s why it’s so great that you’ll be finishing first this month. It should serve as a reminder to everyone that the world is still kind of okay if Pisces gets to win sometimes. Go, fish!
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Right now, it’s all about your job. The House of Career is dominant, and your eye is on the prize. However, Saturn’s influence will mean that you have to work a little harder to meet your goals. Don’t give up, though. If you can hang in there until around the 19th, the payoff will be so big that you’ll feel like a character in a 1980’s movie – You’ll be walking on sunshine to the tune of Day-Bow-Bow. If that reference is completely lost on you, don’t worry about it. All this is saying is that you’ll likely get more of the stuff that lets you buy avocado toast and Netflix. You might even be able to buy that fancy blender with your tax refund, and still have money left over to pay bills.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Expect to have a rather serious fight with a loved one this month over an issue that’s been brewing for a while. And the fact that you’re feeling extra generous toward strangers won’t help matters. Your embattled friend, family member, spouse, or lover will feel even worse because it seems like you’re just the nicest person ever to anyone who isn’t them. Don’t even try to explain. The bull does what the bull does (don’t say that part out loud). Just use your exquisite taste to buy an “I’m sorry” gift after the smoke clears. Chocolate should work.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Grab your dancing shoes, Gemini, because your social side is coming out in full force this month, and you’re about to be the life of the party. Venus is pouring out the love for you, and you’ll be able to charm your way out of almost any situation before February hits. Just remember that the universe must have balance. So, while you’re doing quite well at home with the family, or out on the dating scene, your job situation may be a little dicey. Basically, if you’re late for work six times in a row, don’t try to get out of hot water by telling your boss that his tie matches his eyes.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Someone special in your life is going through a tough time, and you can’t help right now. What?! You always help. You’re Cancer, after all, and, if nothing else, you are a great friend. In fact, when Mr. Rogers told us to “look to for the helpers,” he meant you. Well, unfortunately, sometimes things are just out of your hands and beyond your control. This is one of those times. You’ll just have to let that special someone work through their issues, and be there when they come out on the other side – and they will. Just be patient. You’re good at that too.
LEO (July 23-Aug-22): Bad news, Leo. About 80% of the planets are aligned against you this month, so now is a good time to lay low. If, on the other hand, you try to use your natural aggressiveness to pick a verbal or physical fight with someone, they’ll probably remind you that a lion is really just a big puddy tat. Use this time to get a little humble and introspective. You may learn something about yourself, and possibly even find love or friendship from an unexpected source. And, don’t worry. You’ll get your roar back in February.
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22): There are two things that drive most Virgos crazy: Change and letting other people do stuff. Well, guess what? This month is full of both. Most of the planets are aligned against you, so, for once in your life, resist the urge to take charge. Trust your friends and coworkers. For some reason, they actually like you, and they won’t let you down. Sit back, relax, and let things happen. If you’re single, don’t be surprised if a special someone takes a liking to your new, laid-back self.
LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22): Members of your family will try hard to lose their minds and drive everyone else insane, so they’ll be lucky to have you around this month. Jupiter will give you everything you need to be a rock of stability, voice of reason, and maker of peace during this time of domestic chaos. Once everyone has aired their grievances, they’ll actually come closer together, and you’ll look like a hero for making everyone see that their differences are only matched by everything they have in common. Also, you better brush up your Kumbaya skills if they’re rusty. You’ll get bonus points if you can deliver the jazz flute version.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21): There’s good news and bad news for scorpions this month. The good news is that the planets are perfectly aligned in your favor, and everything is fine. The bad news is that the planets are perfectly aligned in your favor, and everything is fine. Because – let’s be real – you love the drama. This whole lack of conflict thing might drive you nuts, but hang in there. Wait it out while living vicariously through some good movies and tv shows. Your regularly scheduled soap-opera-as-directed-by-Michael-Bay of an abnormal life will resume around the 28th.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21): There’s great news for Sagittarians this month. You won’t have to rely on anyone for anything. Jupiter’s got your back in a big way, and all of January is about your will, your abilities, and your ambition. And, let’s face it, telling a Sagittarius that their success depends on their independence is like telling a librarian that books will be the next currency. Because – independence is what you’re all about. Enjoy it. Strangely enough, Venus is set to give you a nudge toward the romantic, and someone who’s had their eye on you for a while will finally make a move. It’s probably because everyone is at their most attractive when they’re actively being themselves.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You’ve been working hard to achieve a thing for a long time now, and all of your efforts are about to pay off. You’ll be able to pat yourself on the back for a job well-done, but then you might be a little baffled by all of the time that you suddenly have on your hands. Here’s a tip: Now is a good time to focus on you. Get a haircut, update your wardrobe, or start going to the gym. At the very least, take a shower. As you move forward with a major accomplishment under your belt, the success will be even sweeter if you look (and smell) like the awesome person you are.